How To Control Lusting After Others When In Relationship

It’s extremely important to know how to control lusting for someone while in a relationship. And it happens from both sides, Men & Women. It is important to understand, there’s a huge difference between love & lust. If there’s lust in love, that is very much normal. But if there’s lust without love, it’s something that needs to be tackled very carefully. If it was about someone single, without any commitment, it was very much accepted that he is lusting on someone, it is just important to tell the other partner about honest feelings. Most people lack the courage to do so.


But when it’s about lusting for someone else while in a relationship, it’s a big problem that needs to be solved. So, here we go. Let’s understand how to control lusting for someone while in a relationship.

What Does Lust For Someone Mean?


There’s actually a very thin yet prominent line between Lust & love. And the thin line could only be determined with your own gut feelings. What does lust for someone mean? If you Google, what is lust? You will get- a strong sexual desire for someone. It’s a very natural appetite of our body, and it will be better to not complicate it by treating it as a sin.

Lust is basically a strong sexual desire and a sign of a healthy sexual appetite in adults. Lust usually happens for physical attractions towards other girls or guys. The strong sexual desire ignited from a stronger physical attraction is lust.

Though it is claimed that lust shows a healthy side & appetite of the human body, but there’s little trivia that might interest you all. Did you know that when you have a lust for someone, the same area of your brain gets lit up by the hormonal reactions, which also lights up when someone does drugs? Scary enough?

However, one must also know the scientific approach to understand what exactly happens in your body when you have a lust for someone.

First of all, lust happens in your sub-conscious, and the actions you take are in your conscious state. Your brain controls every instruction of the body. There’s a gland named pituitary in our brains which controls most of the hormones. There’s a hormone named androgen which is closely related to Testosterone. And this hormone, Testosterone is responsible for sexual arousals & physical attractions.

Higher the level of Testosterone, the higher the sex drives. Men generally have a higher level of Testosterones, so their sex drives & ‘lust’ lasts longer than the women.

So when you see or meet someone, or reinvent a person, and you slowly develop the feeling of sexual arousal around the person, in your pituitary gland there’s androgen paying its heeds. That is subjecting the Testosterone level to rise.

We can not lust for someone while being conscious. Our Brain will conduct the procedure on chemical levels back in the subconscious. On a base level, you will start feeling sexually attracted to someone.

Can Love Happen Without Lust? Or Vice-Versa?


Before you understand how to control lusting for someone while being in a relationship, you must understand what is the difference between both of them- Love & Lust.

Can Love happen without Lust? Love is when you connect with someone on an emotional level, not a sexual level. Of course, it will arouse you sexually too, but that’s not the only & only part you want to discover.

When you are in love with someone, you will prefer taking things slow, while in lust, pretty fast as all your mind is craving the tension in the bed.

When you are in love with someone, you would love to converse with each other, to understand each other. Where, while being in lust it’s pretty much the opposite. All you can think about is the unbuttoning of clothes.

There are many differences between love and lust, but mainly it is a gut feeling which will tell you. Mainly it’s an intuition call that will arrive and you will understand whether it’s love or lust.

Now coming to the point, can love to happen without lust? Yes. In most the cases. No, in the least of the cases.

Whereas, can lust happen without love? Of course Yes. Lust is a physical and sexual appetite of the body. Whereas love is a way of emotion. Both are closely related to each other, yet different.

Is It Very Natural To Lust For Someone While In A Relationship?


If you ask us if it’s ‘very’ natural. We would say, no. If you ask us if it is natural. We would say, yes.

As already told earlier, lust is an appetite of the body fuelled with sexual desires. So it may happen that you get physically attracted to someone else while you are already in a relationship with your partner.

But, is that something you should do about it? Of course. No healthy relationship will be stable enough if a person from the relationship is sexually aroused by another person. Though, the world is turning extremely modern, very rapidly. So it also depends on your thought process and what you and your partner think about this. If you both are comfortable enough, that’s cool as well.

Now in case, you people aren’t cool at all, and you want to know how to control lusting for someone while in a relationship, this article is for you.

How To Control Lusting For Someone While In A Relationship?

Here, you will find some sure shot ways to win this battle. We are going to focus on your relationship, to porn, to mediation, to pretty much every peripheral thing which can get the lusting for someone other than your partner minimized.

1. Stop Watching Porn :


Yes, it is the first and foremost thing you need to do. We are not asking you to immediately join no fap movement, but eventually that will help too. Watching porn will only create trouble for you. When you will watch porn, you will start fantasizing that person you are lusting on, and soon it will be a vicious circle. So taking a long break from the porn can actually help you a lot.

Instead, spend some quality time with your partner. Indulge in steamy sex which will anyway divert your mind, calming your Testosterone. How to control lusting for someone while being in a relationship will require dedication to correct it.

2. Talk To Your Partner :


Many of you might have the reaction “Wait! What?!”. We understand. But, if you really want to stop lusting over other people from the utmost honesty, then it’s the bravest step you can take. Nobody can help you better than your own partner. If you are thinking, your partner will think of yourself as a jerk, then make her or him read this article.

Lust doesn’t happen consciously, it’s a process that happens in the subconscious, triggered by a few hormones in our brain. So, it is nothing like you are cheating on your partner. You have a situation, and you need help.

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3. Say No To Drugs & Alcohol :


As both of the danger element will only make things worse for you, you should boycott them for a duration of time. Drugs & alcohol will cause you to lose your senses, which puts you in a dangerous state where you can’t control your mind, and not your lust as well.

4. The Art Of Distracting :


Whenever you start to feel that you are getting lusty thoughts over someone, distract yourself. Distract yourself with so many options available to you.

You might concentrate on your work. Play an intense combat game on your phone or pc. You can start talking to an old friend. You can start sketching, painting, use a fidget spinner, play football. You need to find your own distraction, everything will work until it is distracting you from those lusty vibes.

5. Meditation Is The Key :


Basically, meditation is the key to most of the questions in the world. And How to control lust for someone while being in a relationship also includes in the set of questions.

While you meditate, you try to focus on your body & mind. You start finding your reason and purpose of reason. You start to chalk a route map of your mind. And things inside head gets calmer, the clutter inside starts to get uncluttered. There’s immense power in mediation. If you meditate regularly, your lust will soon be gone.

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6. Avoid That Person :


It may sound rude, but there’s a proverb “Out of sight, out of mind”. So try avoiding that person as much as you can to calm your lusty vibes down. If at all, the person can not be avoided, you both must meet in a safer public place. Always try to look at her/his eyes while talking, and ‘nowhere’ else.

Avoiding works for many, and also doesn’t work for many, too. But it’s worth giving it a shot.

7. Get A Therapist :


Because, why not? A therapist will be able to guide you in the best possible ways to stop lusting for someone, on whom you should not lust. They will introspect the problem and its origin, and will further move towards the solutions.

8. Have Sex With Your Partner :


When you will have sex with your partner, and you will take off your loads, that’s when your most if the lusty thoughts will be gone for any other person, and you will only concentrate on your activity in the bed. So having a steamy session of sex with your partner will help you on so many levels.

Firstly, who doesn’t want sex?

Secondly, get rid of the nasty lusty feeling.

This was pretty much on how to control lusting for someone while being in a relationship. You have got all the answers, but let’s jump onto the FAQ section.

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FAQs :

Q. What is the difference between love and lust?

Love happens on an emotional level.

Lust happens on a sexual level.

Love is when your partner is the source of your peace. You feel connected with her. You not only want physical action. Whereas, lust only demands physical action.

Q. Is lust bad?

Lust for another partner while being in a relationship? Yes, it is. You need to do a trial & error method of all the solutions given by us. Soon, it will all be under control

Q. What makes you sexually attracted?

It can be the smell, it can be the sizes, it can be the attitude of the other person. It may vary from person to person.

So now you know how to control lusting for someone while in a relationship. It’s an extremely tricky situation to handle but with the right solutions and people, it is pretty much doable.

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